days and nights are much longer
June 25, 2018
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a year without him

This past year has been the most difficult year of my life.

I can’t imagine that living without my son will ever feel easy. It feels too much like not really living at all. I lost half my heart with his passing. I feel like a shell with a gaping hole in it and, a year after his suicide, I still don’t know what I am anymore. I just exist for Anya. I don’t have any other purpose. I always felt whole when I had both my kids. My kids have always been my everything... now I’m down to half, but my love for Jasten remains while he’s not here to feel it anymore.

I feel so lost.


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